Israel: Finding Community (and an Outlet!) through Humor
In this series of profile pieces, I am detailing the voices of those impacted by the heavy circumstances in areas of conflict. For our purposes, the health and welfare of the autistic community eclipses geo-political commentary.
On a worksheet filled out by a young student, the prompt asked, “When I’m 100 years old I will” - which led the pupil to answer, “Be dead.”
The next prompt asked for a drawing of what 100 years old looks like, to which the student responded with the drawing of a gravestone inscribed with RIP.
Under the image, the caption reads, “This is what you get when you ask an open question to a child with autism,” alluding to the common quality of honesty and bluntness within the autistic community.
Images and stories like this one infuse humor and enliven a traditional Facebook page, which provides a safe place for nearly 12,000 Facebook followers immersed in the world of autism. Otizematzchik is a private parents-only zone that was created to alleviate stress and provide an outlet for the extraordinary everyday occurrences that unite our global family. Hard line rule, they do not make fun of the diagnosis or those who have it. Ortal makes it clear that “we make fun of ourselves as parents, of the funny situations we get into with our kids. They are the apples of our eyes - we love our kids. We are here to celebrate with those who get it.”
Founded by Ortal, a Special Mom to three, humor is her tool to navigate the complexities of the autism diagnosis. She explained that as a teen, she learned the power of telling a joke as a defense to bullying at high school and as a way to find friends when she felt alone. That strategy was lost in the hallways behind her as she graduated and launched into a new chapter, creating a life of her choosing, including starting a family.
When her son received an autism diagnosis, the tornado of emotions and immediate demands were naturally overwhelming. Doctors often charge parents to sprint to services since brain plasticity can only be fully realized in early childhood. To lose a single day of advancement can become a source of great guilt and hopelessness for parents and caregivers. It is an intense pressure cooker and in a moment of particular heaviness, Ortal remembered the function of comedy to lift herself and others.
Ortal and her friend Ravik, also a Special Mom, launched the page in January 2018 and within 6 years, it has grown exponentially. When asked why only parents can participate, Ortal responds:
The fact that grandparents, siblings, caregivers, therapists, etc., will ‘Get the jokes” doesn’t mean that they fully understand or appreciate the struggle, the pain, the fear, and the joy of bringing up a child with autism. At the end of the day, when the door to the clinic or school closes, or when grandma goes home after a visit, we’re the ones who stay, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. We, as the parents, are the ones behind that door. We understand each other fully and completely and walk in each other’s shoes… and that is why Otizematzchik has always been and will forever stay a safe virtual community for parents only.
Moms typically look online to find solace, however 20% of the participants are dads who actively find humor and share with the rest. Recently, one father who knows that his child is an autodidact genius, but refuses to move his legs while swinging posted:
Understanding how to swing by yourself by moving your legs back and forth? Nah. Learning 4 different languages and multiplication tables from YouTube before the age of six?? Sure.
Ortal notes that “this is a true community that gives color to the bursts of sunshine that this population has bottled up inside of them. To see the numbers grow tells me that we need an outlet that can only be found among one another. Like the doctors said, ‘laughter is the best medicine.’ So look at me now…(!), I’m the doctor.”
The Global Autism Coalition is proud to support Ortal and her community that lifts and laughs - truly uniting those within.